domingo, setembro 01, 2013

New World

At the sea...
We ran from cannonballs, we ran from the waves, we ran against the reefs, smashing towards them time and time again. I wished to die, I looked for death, and there it was, facing me and I fearless. I loved it, cause I couldn't fear, and i loved it, then it was found, my wishing towards the sea. Look at what my secret counciousness said to me: Sydra came to me one night and whispered like this: why do people exist... like this? Can't they see how wrong it is, how their bodies ache and scream, and wish to end it? Oh, and then, she said like this: Let us end this. I can end this, this is what meant having seen a god, it means that I was so unsatisfied with the ways of the world that I accidentaly entered one of its veins, that I found one of the governing principles of it, that I was granted the boon of seeing what is inside everthing, what makes things be! It was glourious, full of life, full of what is promised, and everything could be made by that thing of light. This is what a god meant: a wish, and anything wished would be real, done, made, created, a full force of creation, plentiful, it was there, it was beautiful-blue, sad-blue, deep as the ocean, deep as the word deep that can go to the bottoms of the oceans. It was a woman holding a bird, sitting atop a tree in the ends of the earth: that is the force that creates everything. My encounter with a god was not a mission given to me, like I felt, it was receptive. It demanded nothing, it only asked: what is it, that you want? Rather, I must correct myself, it demanded everything. The only thing which we all avoid giving: ourselves. It demanded me. It was I that which I wished to throw upon the sea. It was I that I cast away in that storm, to the big mouth, to the god inside the sea, to the bird-woman of the deep. It was I that it demanded, everything, nothing, all that could ever be given. All that we are are ourselves. All that we can control is this self, this great self which we are but cannot hard to face. Oh, love, look at my life, it was given away to the sea. In exchange, I have ended this age of power.